Mother's Day, or "Hel Day"?

This year, I got a coupon book from my sons for Mother's Day. They were so excited to give it to me. And it was really cute, entitling me to things like, breakfast in bed, washing two loads of laundry, or an hour of no whining. But I have to say, one of the coupons stuck out the most. It said: "This coupon entitles you to...'Hel day'". I'm not sure what "Hel day" was supposed to be, maybe "Help day" or "Holiday." But I just thought, 'How perfect is that?' For many Mothers, myself included, Mother's Day many times does become a day from Hell.

You wake up with high hopes, thinking, 'Today is a day to celebrate me and all the hard work I've done. Today. Is going to be special.'

Instead, it is a day like any other, your kids are still selfish, you are still mom, which means every need is expected to be met by you. You are still the only one who sees the huge mess and cleans it, and no matter how hard your husband tries, he fails at making this day perfect.

Your heart sinks as you walk into the room where your son has taken off his diaper and peed on your floor. You feel your blood boil as you go outside to escape the crazy only to see your other son dumped dirt all over the patio table and has taken no measure to clean it.

You want to play a fun game of Uno to bring the family together, but half the deck is missing because they never seem to keep anything for long without ruining or losing it. 

You tried, you hoped, you prayed, but once again, Mother's Day was. One. Big. Disappointment. 

And then there's you. It's Mother's Day and you yelled at your kids. You weren't patient when they threw mud on the house. You got upset when one whined, or spilled their drink all over the table. In your frustration, you let a curse word slip. Not only did your kids not magically morph into obedient angels, but you are still the same old mom who never seems to measure up. 

But is this what Mother's Day was meant to be? A day where standards are set impossibly high, and never met? 

A day where some Mother's gush about the wonderful things their children did for them, and all your kids did was find your Mother's Day chocolate and eat it as fast as they could before you found out?

I'm pondering this as I sit in a room I locked myself in so I don't go crazy from all the stress and mess of everyday life with young children, that somehow seems so much worse on Mother's Day. And, as I periodically check on my four, young boys, who are running around (half of them naked mind you) in the back yard where they were banished for being crazy, I'm thinking, "It's okay. It's all okay."

I don't have to be a perfect mother on Mother's Day, or any other day. And they don't have to be perfect children. I love them, and they love me. No matter what. I know that. A day that is supposed to be perfect and magical, but always manages to fall short, doesn't change that. 

And, at the end of the day, when we all kneel together for family prayer, I know someone will inevitably start randomly shouting, or punching their brother, and make their usual chaos. But that's okay too. Because family is about chaos, and one day I will miss it. 

The thesaurus says that Love is: "Adoration", and "Very strong liking". I say it is the opposite -- It is having a strong dislike for someone at times, but sticking it out, and loving them anyways as you wait for that feeling of like to come back. Because, if any of you have been a mom you know, it always does. 

So here's to grinning and bearing and choosing to love, even when you don't feel like it. To me, that is what love is, and that's what mothers do -- We care for, and want the best for our children, no matter how good or bad they can be, or make us feel at times. Love isn't about always saying or doing the right thing, even on Mother's Day. It's about being there for each other, no matter what. 

So here's to another Mother's Day full of imperfect people, doing imperfect things, but choosing to love each other anyway.