Life Without Kids

We all know the saying -- "I don't know what I'd do without my children." Well, today my mom took all four boys off my hands for the entire day, and I'll tell you what I did without my children -- I actually fixed my hair, I had time to eat both breakfast and lunch, while sitting down even, I got to do some writing for a new book. I still didn't have dinner on the table by the time the hubby got home, so I guess there'd be no change in that department, but at least I looked decent when he got here instead of the usual disheveled, homeless looking woman he comes home to every night.
And it was nice having that feeling you get when you see you kids after being apart all day. We hugged, we said our I love yous. It was heaven . . . for about two minutes. Then came the fighting, and the, "Mom, I'm hungry!" and the fighting, and the, "Mom, I don't wanna eat that!" and did I mention the fighting, and the, "No, I don't want to eat that either," and the me shouting at them not to strangle the cat. Needless to say, I threw all the kids outside.
I think I'm ready for their next trip to Grandma's, heck move in with her, I'll come visit you!
But seriously, I didn't sign up for this! Well . . . I guess I did, but I didn't know I was. I mean, I have to regularly say things like, "Don't slap your brother with the turkey," and "Please stop taking off your pants," and this one I have to say on the daily, "That is your private, not a toy!"
Ah, one day they will grow up, and I'll be able to actually have mature, normal adult conversation with them. Heck, I might even enjoy them for more than two minutes at a time. But then they'll probably move across the country with a bleach blonde named Linda, who won't like me, and I won't get to see them anyhow. I won't see my grandchildren be born, my sons will start calling me by my first name  . . . but I digress . . .
It was nice having a day to myself. Guess that sums it up.